I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
