i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
