I wish I could teleport
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
