the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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