You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
