Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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