Whod you bang
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
