so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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