he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize