Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
