After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
