I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
