You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
