hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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