hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
