ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
