When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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