living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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