i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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