wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
