So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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