he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
