The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
