why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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