i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
