He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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