Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
