it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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