You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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