About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
