Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
