its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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