the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
No subtext here. People are naked.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
