well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
