Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
