I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
