do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
