After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The power of my boobs compel you
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
