i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize