no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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