so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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