Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
