Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
