Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
