You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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