Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
