Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
