Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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