ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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