so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
