So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
